Why don’t you just eat more? If someone had given me a dollar for every time I’ve been asked this, I’d be a rich woman. Okay, maybe not quite, the Jamaican dollar is hardly worth much, but you catch my drift, yes?

The photo attached caught my eye this weekend and I thought it quite uncanny because of what’s been on my mind over the last few weeks. I’d love to know what your initial thoughts and feelings were when you first looked at this picture, and I’d equally love to know if these thoughts and feelings changed over a period of time pondering said picture. I don’t even want to put any ideas in your head, but rather hear exactly what came to YOUR mind without anyone else’s suggestions.

As many of you may know, I have been extremely sick for two and half months, losing weight by the day without realising just how much I was losing. In hospital, there was only a mirror above the bathroom sink, so I couldn’t really get a grasp of how skinny I had become. Sure, I knew that I had lost weight, but I was not prepared for what I saw in the full length mirror when I came out of hospital. I could barely look at my reflection, cringing with agony at what was staring back at me. I hardly had much of a bottom to being with, but what had become of my body was not something I could psychologically stand. How disappointing it was to fully understand that my physical self had let me down. The impact of my illness resonated deeper than before; what it had done not only to me but also to my children, the rest of family and my friends. I was now seeing what they had been witnessing through recent weeks. What a horror show!

Indeed, some understood why I had physically become this way, but what of others who did not know why? What would they think? I literally looked deathly anorexic. The only difference between my state and the definition of anorexia was the fact that I did not want to be this thin. At 112lbs two months prior, I was skinny enough as it was! Now I had lost more than 15% of my body weight and my BMI was 14.6. All I can say is thank goodness for Osmolite, which is therapeutic nutrition that provides balanced nutrition for patients with increased protein requirements. I would have been in a far worse position without it. However, the real difference began as treatments began to work and I could add solids to the all liquid diet of smoothies, soups, yogurt, juices and kombucha. I am stronger, feeling better overall and the weight is piling back on. Okay, maybe not “piling”, but there are considerably less creases in my skin where my backside is supposed to be!

Now I’ve painted a not so pretty picture of what I have been looking like, let’s get your attention back to the photo attached. Too large, too small? What would you think if both women were eating a bag of Cheetos? What if both were eating a plate of cucumbers? Where would your thoughts go then? What if the larger lady was chowing on the Cheetos and the little lady was guzzling down the cucumbers? And vice versa? We all have preconceptions of what we think would be the better scenario for the situation we believe we know. Now bring an eight fluid ounce bowl of broth to the story, along with a serving of the same size of oatmeal porridge with flax seeds and blueberries. Which do you pass to whom? What if I told you that both were suffering from constipation: one of them is generally healthy, with no known disease; the other has severe gut dysmotility, caused by a rare autoimmune disease, would you know who was to get which bowl of food? Are your preconceived notions influencing your choices?

The truth is, we don’t actually know what either of these women’s stories are (well maybe some of you do), and there are unquantifiable variations, but we do tend to take our limited experiences and use these to tell grossly inaccurate narratives. As I look at this image, my personal experiences are certainly influencing my thoughts, moreover they are giving me pause and reflection, making me rethink and wish that I could ask each of these women what her journey has been.