I’m usually not a fan of self-help books, or navel-picking reads, as my mother calls them.  The reason for this is because one can fall into the trappings of self-hatred and inadequacy, taking the proclamations and advice of authors as gospel.  I’m not implying that the authors’ intentions are such, as I do believe there are many who simply want to help us.  However, all 7.2 billion people in the world couldn’t possibly fall together under the same umbrellas of wisdom in any of these books.  Many may read one book and relate to it, others may not.

According to Gary Chapman, PhD, and the late Dr. Ross Campbell, each child has their own love language, which he or she responds to the best: 1. Physical Touch; 2. Words of Affirmation; 3. Quality Time; 4. Gifts; 5. Acts of Service.  While all children, and all people for that matter, may respond positively to all five of these things, one will stand out from the rest and make them feel the most loved.

Champman is the bestselling author of The 5 Love Languages® series and helps many families form lasting relationships amongst themselves through counseling, seminars, radio programmes and his books.  Dr. Campbell worked as a clinical psychiatrist for more than 30 years, specializing in the parent-child relationship.  He also wrote How to Really Love Your Teenager and How to Really Love Your Adult Child.

Whilst reading The 5 Love Languages® of Children, I couldn’t help but feel and see how I have gone wrong.  I fell into the very trap of self-degradation, which is the reason why I don’t read these books!!  That said, I have been raising my kids with so much love, giving them the attention and the time I believe they need.  What I’ve come to realize is that there are gaps my husband and I must fill, and these might be negating even the positive part of our parenting.

This book is not a long read and is quite simple in its formula, so it is one I’d recommend to parents, particularly if you have noticed your child acting up in any way, however small.  It was recommended to me by my son’s grade two teacher, who is one of the most thoughtful, kind and responsive teachers I’ve come across.  This woman seems to live by responding to each of her students according to their individual love languages, so kudos to Champman and Campbell for writing the book and sharing it with the world.  It’s not only made me pay attention to the love language of each of my boys, but it’s even given me food for thought when it comes to my husband, myself and our relationship as a couple.

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