Everyone’s been talking about it, everyone’s been writing about it, everyone’s been posting #MeToo all over social media.  It’s about time…..

The other day, a friend informed me that she got a complaint about me and my ranting – this was ten days before the #MeToo posts went viral.  Apparently, I’ve upset some people with my persistent posts about sexual abuse.  It’s causing mayhem.  It’s upsetting people.  It’s bringing attention to myself.  It’s appalling.

AHEM!  Do these people think I give two hoots?  It is supposed to do all those things –  I want to cause mayhem.  I want to upset people.  I want to bring attention to the topic. And yes, sexual abuse is appalling.  Imagine my delight when I woke to see that everyone is now talking about it too?  I am thrilled.  It is about time the entire world get with the programme.  Force this topic into conversations.  Social media, I love you more than ever!

Seven weeks ago, I was told by a ‘friend’ (I use this term lightly, here, because she is no longer a friend) that she had been avoiding me for months because she was waiting for me to quieten down with the whole abuse issue and what had happened to me back in April.  She hadn’t wanted me to go on and on about it in any conversation I might have with her, so she had avoided me until I was back to normal.

I literally laughed in disbelief.  Still laughing, actually.

The mere thought of a female friend dismissing my feelings, dismissing what had happened to me, was and still is unbelievable.  I called her out on it, which was clearly not something she had anticipated.  She had honestly thought that I would say ‘I understand’ and that we could carry on with regular conversations, continue our friendship.

However, doing so would have made me complicit in the crime.  Pushing the issue under the carpet, for the sake of keeping the peace between us, would have been hypocritical of me, not to mention hurtful to myself and other women who have been sexually harassed, abused and assaulted.

The negative side of calling her out was this:  she told me that I was exaggerating, had made up the story to seek attention and material for a book.  She said that it wasn’t as if I’d been shoved in a bathroom, had all my clothes ripped off and been raped.  She told me that what had happened to me was ‘normal’ behaviour of Jamaican men.  Surely I knew what they were like?  I was accused of ruining this man’s marriage, making is family look bad.  Did I not know his position at work and in society?  How dare I speak out against a man like that?!  When I pointed out that I had never mentioned anyone’s name, she said that it was obvious whom I was talking about, as it’s typical behaviour of said man when he drinks.

Oh, so now it’s alcohol’s fault?  Alcohol made the man scream to me, ‘Come here woman, come yah so!  Yuh husband can’t afford material for a swimsuit?!’  It’s alcohol’s fault that, despite the fact I ignored this man, he continued to follow me and continued to shout, ‘Me say come here!  What kind of swimsuit is that? Yuh husband don’t have enough money for a proper swimsuit?’  The alcohol is also at fault for, despite me ignoring the man again, the man continuing to follow me, then said, ‘Seriously, what is this?’ as he stuck his hand inside the back of my bikini bottom, right on and inside my bottom?  I smacked his hand away and told him, ‘Get your dirty hands off me!’  At which point, the man said, ‘Why should I?  You deserve it if you’re going to wear a swimsuit like that!’

So, are we to say that alcohol was at fault for all of this?  I think it’s a little unfair to blame alcohol, who couldn’t actually defend itself at the time, and still can’t!!! Just saying…..

Let me tell you what the behaviour of this man was….PREDATORY.  An “alcoholic excuse” could have been used with blurting something stupid out, but then realizing you’re an idiot and immediately saying how sorry you are.  This was not the case.  Despite me persistently ignoring him, he still followed me and kept blurting out insults towards me, then sexually molested me and told me I deserved it.  THIS IS PREDATORY BEHAVIOUR.  Do you understand that?  Are you seriously going to say otherwise?  And yes, I will keep going on about it for as long as I keep hearing that someone doesn’t quite comprehend what the man did!  For as long as I keep hearing that someone thinks I ruined this man’s life.  For as long as you think that  I ruined his marriage and his family.  Do you really believe that I did that?  PUUURLEEEEZE!  The man managed to do that all on his own.

So, yes, this is just one #MeToo story that I revealed more than 6 months ago, but it seems that I must retell it countless times, because you’re not quite getting it, are you?!