I am missing my first dance class today.  I don’t mean that this is the first dance class which I have ever missed – gosh I’ve missed decades of dance classes, if that’s the case.  What  I mean is that this is the first time I’ve committed to doing a regular dance class and I have to break that commitment (my youngest is sick) – on the first day!  I feel terrible about it, because my commitment involves other people and I hate to let people down.  I also have to cancel a play date this afternoon and a sleepover tonight.  That’s a lot of people I’m letting down – and in a single day too.  Annoying.

During the week of Christmas, I was all kinds of late with plans. Not terribly so, but like a half hour or hour here and there.  It added up, it involved others and it really bugged me big time.  My nickname should really be “Previous”.  You see, I like to be so organised that I would technically have the time to twiddle my thumbs in between tasks.  It’s just the way I’m built.  Oh, and it helps me not to stress out over the small stuff in life.

Over a year ago, I started writing a novel – Young Adult Fiction.  I have completed it several times, always changing things as friends and critics have read and reread it.  I have even sent off submissions to many literary agents (so far no one has picked it up – but I have in no way lost hope).  I need to change the ending.  Well, more like I should continue on from my ending to a better and more complete one.  Yet, I have been stagnant.  It’s not because I don’t know how I want the story to end.  I actually do.  However, for some reason, I can’t seem to find the energy or the will power to do it.  Very unlike me.  The truth is, the longer I go not doing it, is the harder it becomes to get back to it.  I am beating myself up over it because I had a plan to have it completed by now.

The point I’m trying to make is that there are countless things we should have done, or could have done, or would have done had some excuse not come conveniently our way.  Some of us might feel terribly guilty about it, useless at times, even, so we make New Year’s Resolutions.  How many of you made a fair few last week?  How many have you broken already?  Feel shitty, don’t you?  Well, DON’T!  Seriously, what and where is that going to get you?

I saw a post on Instagram this morning – the implication was “Don’t make New Year’s Resolutions”.  So I thought about it.  The person may well be onto something.  What if I didn’t plan out my life in such detail?  What if I let go and simply say what I’m going to do today?  I don’t mean one shouldn’t make arrangements for work, or your kids’ school life, or even dinner with friends.  What I mean is, what if I (and you, if it applies) were to let go a little (okay, a lot) and stop trying to make promises to myself?  What if I were to wake up each day and decide how to plan that day alone?